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Dear Eat The Poor,

I object to the premise of your moniker. The poor are notoriously unhealthy and underfed. Many of them live in fresh food deserts, miles from the nearest fresh vegetables. Think how few states provide free school breakfast and lunch year round for all kids. Just like Trump and Vance recommend, we should eat the fat cats. Think of the foie gras available in your city parks. Dogs are not a part of Caribbean diets, but we could ask many Asian countries for recipes; why, I think DJT has a dear, dear friend in Korea. "They're eating the pets" wasn't the cultural insult we thought it was. That was just Donald showing us the way forward after his tariffs make everything unaffordable.

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