I was one of the women bussed to the men’s colleges and I can unequivocally say that we loved it! It was a rare chance to meet men at similar colleges, dance, etc. I went to Smith, a women’s college in rural Massachusetts; we went to dances at Amherst (rural men’s college) and UMass, and it was great fun, and entirely voluntary! And of course there were buses back. So thank you Robert for helping to arrange these fun social events.
It means so much to hear you tell the truth about something you did in the past which shames you so many years later. We all carry shame, for every reason under the sun, for things we did long ago. Most of us keep that shame hidden from the world, terrified of being attacked for past errors. To be able to come out and speak one's truth, without being judged, is an enormous blessing. I thank you so much for telling this story about your long-ago actions, the consequence of your actions -- and then the beautiful ending to your story. The man's delighted reaction to see you says a LOT about you!
Consciousness raising was in its early days then, but it's nuts that someone was expelled for a mutually consensual relationship. It shouldn't have been anybody's business, and had it occurred just a few years down the road, you probably would have stood up and said so.
So happy he was ok. I am also glad that you could stop punishing yourself.
The policy of expulsion for having sex was, of course, ridiculous and hypocritical, but I doubt you would have been able to change it had you protested. You were stuck in the rules of that time.
The most important piece of information that has been confirmed by your anecdote is that you have a conscience and the capacity to feel empathy, qualities that many officials in government today are sadly lacking.
We all have done things in another time which we now regret. Sometimes, like yourself, we get to make amends and are often forgiven as you were by your college friend. Coming clean while we can to those we have wronged is good for everyone.
Prof Reich--thank you for opening up to all of us about this incident. You are certainly absolved now of any stain for your role in it. It’s fitting that the other young man bore you no ill will later--that’s the nature of grace. Ah, if only more people in power could own up to when they are wrong, instead of continuing to insist on digging in deeper.
Two comments: First, we make SO many mistakes when we're young. May we ALL be forgiven for them. I am delighted your young friend found you and that he survived -- and that you did, too. Expelling him was a terrible thing, but "fornication" was widely held to be a mortal sin in those days, and you didn't invent that. However, bussing the girls in was not morally wrong, or if people think so, then please go picket the church that held "socials" so kids could get dates and dance the night away--but under careful, watchful eyes. ... Second, I went to an all girls school in the South during the Vietnam War. The men bussed in were soldiers from the local military base, which was daily shipping troops off to Vietnam. We danced and promised to write. By the time left for California, I had a stack of letters from half a dozen soldiers with whom I had danced and with whom I corresponded regularly. By the time this "police action" was over, half of them were dead. I am so happy I didn't miss the opportunity to make their brief, bright lives a little happier.
I was one of the women bussed to the men’s colleges and I can unequivocally say that we loved it! It was a rare chance to meet men at similar colleges, dance, etc. I went to Smith, a women’s college in rural Massachusetts; we went to dances at Amherst (rural men’s college) and UMass, and it was great fun, and entirely voluntary! And of course there were buses back. So thank you Robert for helping to arrange these fun social events.
It means so much to hear you tell the truth about something you did in the past which shames you so many years later. We all carry shame, for every reason under the sun, for things we did long ago. Most of us keep that shame hidden from the world, terrified of being attacked for past errors. To be able to come out and speak one's truth, without being judged, is an enormous blessing. I thank you so much for telling this story about your long-ago actions, the consequence of your actions -- and then the beautiful ending to your story. The man's delighted reaction to see you says a LOT about you!
Whew! Glad it all ended well. You have paid for that unfortunate decision for many years. Glad you can rest easy.
You are a mensch. And you were made so in some part by his generous heart. A fine holiday story, however you celebrate (or not).
Consciousness raising was in its early days then, but it's nuts that someone was expelled for a mutually consensual relationship. It shouldn't have been anybody's business, and had it occurred just a few years down the road, you probably would have stood up and said so.
So happy he was ok. I am also glad that you could stop punishing yourself.
The policy of expulsion for having sex was, of course, ridiculous and hypocritical, but I doubt you would have been able to change it had you protested. You were stuck in the rules of that time.
The most important piece of information that has been confirmed by your anecdote is that you have a conscience and the capacity to feel empathy, qualities that many officials in government today are sadly lacking.
Well, you just made my day. Nothing better than a redemption story to make us feel whole. Zai gezunt.
2 great men hugged that day. (typed through my tears).
We all have done things in another time which we now regret. Sometimes, like yourself, we get to make amends and are often forgiven as you were by your college friend. Coming clean while we can to those we have wronged is good for everyone.
Prof Reich--thank you for opening up to all of us about this incident. You are certainly absolved now of any stain for your role in it. It’s fitting that the other young man bore you no ill will later--that’s the nature of grace. Ah, if only more people in power could own up to when they are wrong, instead of continuing to insist on digging in deeper.
How heartwarming. That episode made me sad when I read it this morning. I'm glad it worked out the way it did.
Fornication in the 60s. Who wouldathunk?
It's incidents like this, which we all have, that keeps us humble.......or should ;-)
Also thankful for those who forgive.
What a relief for you! I’m glad the two of you had a positive - and healing - reconnection.
Thank you for disclosing the relief of your confession.
Life is complex. Glad you got an answer that lightened your load. We can only carry so much. Happy Holidays my fellow flawed human. ❤️
Two comments: First, we make SO many mistakes when we're young. May we ALL be forgiven for them. I am delighted your young friend found you and that he survived -- and that you did, too. Expelling him was a terrible thing, but "fornication" was widely held to be a mortal sin in those days, and you didn't invent that. However, bussing the girls in was not morally wrong, or if people think so, then please go picket the church that held "socials" so kids could get dates and dance the night away--but under careful, watchful eyes. ... Second, I went to an all girls school in the South during the Vietnam War. The men bussed in were soldiers from the local military base, which was daily shipping troops off to Vietnam. We danced and promised to write. By the time left for California, I had a stack of letters from half a dozen soldiers with whom I had danced and with whom I corresponded regularly. By the time this "police action" was over, half of them were dead. I am so happy I didn't miss the opportunity to make their brief, bright lives a little happier.