Postscript
My shameful act in the 1960s
Some of you were justifiably appalled (as was I, when I thought back on it during prep for my Senate confirmation hearing in 1992), that in the 1960s I procured busloads of young women from other colleges for "mixers” at my then all-male college and also participated in a decision by the student court to expel a young man from who engaged in mutual-consent “fornication” with one of those women — an act that the college then prohibited (it had not yet entered the modern world). Worse yet, (as I related earlier today) this young man was immediately drafted and sent to Vietnam.
Several of you asked what had happened to him. For years I feared that he perished in that horrendous war. I could have found out, but never did. I wanted to put the whole shameful reality out of my mind.
Then, about twenty years ago, when I was visiting the campus and having a cup of coffee at the counter of a restaurant on Main Street, he walked through the door. I was flabbergasted. I was overcome with relief. Then came a rush of acute embarrassment for the decision I had participated in years before. I lowered my head into my newspaper, hoping he wouldn’t see me. But he did. And he came bounding over. He put his arm around my shoulders and said “Bob! After all these years!” I put down my coffee, hugged him, and told him, with tears welling up, how truly glad I was to see him.
I was one of the women bussed to the men’s colleges and I can unequivocally say that we loved it! It was a rare chance to meet men at similar colleges, dance, etc. I went to Smith, a women’s college in rural Massachusetts; we went to dances at Amherst (rural men’s college) and UMass, and it was great fun, and entirely voluntary! And of course there were buses back. So thank you Robert for helping to arrange these fun social events.
It means so much to hear you tell the truth about something you did in the past which shames you so many years later. We all carry shame, for every reason under the sun, for things we did long ago. Most of us keep that shame hidden from the world, terrified of being attacked for past errors. To be able to come out and speak one's truth, without being judged, is an enormous blessing. I thank you so much for telling this story about your long-ago actions, the consequence of your actions -- and then the beautiful ending to your story. The man's delighted reaction to see you says a LOT about you!