Thank you for sharing your journey. With a towering intellect who needs to be taller than they are.
From a short Canadian who was also bullied for her height. I hope that I countered those with disdain and grace; but I do remember stomping the girl’s foot and landing in the Principal’s office.
Thank you for this piece.
But mostly thank you for all of your work here. I have learned so much.
We have no right to judge another person based on their physical appearance. What is important is whether that person has a positive contribution to society, how they conduct themselves and whether their values align with what is right and just. I have come to appreciate the wisdom that Robert Reich has imparted to all of us. He has many important lessons to tell us. We should all listen.
Thank you for continuing to enlighten us about the most important values for a good life, a life of meaning, a life of noble purpose. In my opinion, your contributions have made a huge difference and continue to do so. The odds you successfully faced forged you into a man we admire. Thank you for inspiring us with your story. May this year bring the best for you, for each of us as we work together to strengthen our democracy.
At 5’8” I seemed to attract shorter men. One who I was particularly enthralled with actually jumped up in the air and clicked his heels together when I accepted a date. He later broke my heart when he decided I was too tall for him. So it works both ways.
In my mid 20’s, I fell in love with a 6’2” “lean, mean, fighting machine”. He was an ex-marine; we met at the YMCA. He asked, “Would you like to use my jump rope?” He was handsome. He took my hand and swept me off my feet.
We dated 8 years. I waited for him to finish school & get a job. (He proposed after a few years but my minister & our parents thought we should wait).
During that time I discovered what I thought of Tom was in reality incorrect. Although he had been on the boxing team in the marines, he told me he was afraid of everything. I learned he smoked, had a drinking problem, wore glasses & had been put in jail in the marines. He hid these things from me. He said later he was afraid I wouldn’t go out with him if I knew since I was such a “health nut”. When we went cross country skiing when visiting my sister & her husband, he was afraid of a hill and removed his skies to walk down.
He lied he graduated from college; actually his family hid this from me as well (they were enablers). He still lived at home. He was fired from his first job.
But I waited. I made dinners & entertained his family. He was book smart, well read, disciplined with exercise which I respected.
At the end, he said his sister said she didn’t think I respected him (he never liked her). So he asked me. I was always truthful. I said I didn’t respect that he still had to live at home with his parents. That infuriated him and caused him to end the relationship. But not before asking another girl to marry him prior to ending it with me. I was devastated & fell into a nightmarish depression.
He did love me fiercely, though. I know this. He wanted me to marry him & move into married housing 45 minutes away while he finished school. But I had a condo, a good job & seniority that was minutes away. I didn’t want to make the trip. (My friend felt he thought I would never marry him).
Surprisingly he told me that I was too much of a risk (the explanation for the break up).
What I am trying to say is it doesn’t matter how tall a person is. What matters is the substance of the person. A person can falsely portray themselves as something totally different than what is actual reality.
For lack of a better description, your ability to see through the fluff people hide behind, your ability to think, and your ability to put what you’re thinking down in writing makes you a giant.
Terrific question, “ But what’s “normal” anyway? And why is normal so important?”. Many of the experiences you described are similar to mine but just due to being born female. Historically women were considered to be less capable intellectually than men due to their smaller weaker stature. They were treated more as property or just a help mate for the superior male. When I was growing up our small rural town spent money on boys sports, basketball, football, baseball, and track, but there was not a single sport for girls. The message was that we were not worth it. Tv shows like Ozzie and Harriet, the Donna Reed Show, Leave it to Beaver, etc all showed women as dependent on a man for the final decisions maker, again because they were superior. Our language used the pronoun he as if it somehow also included all people. Women should be invisible? As a young woman, I couldn’t open a bank account or get a credit card without a father or a husband co-signing. In weddings, fathers still give daughters away to another man. We still have many rituals and language that tell girls that they should be invisible, helpmates, and accept their inferior to men status. This kind of discrimination against women has become more visible, and equality has gained but has still not yet been achieved. The same is true of all groups that are discriminated against for their genetic makeup, ie gender, gender identity, color of skin, height, weight, or age. Imagine if we all understood that these are all just variations of NORMAL. Often what is considered normal is just the statistical mean. That should never be a number used to describe the variety of normal humans with all of our differing gifts which optimize us or do not limit us from different jobs. Having been given the messages that I am inferior, or less than in some way, or just good as a help mate definitely effected my life and my choices which in later life I was able to put words to and reject. The hurt that I felt made me want to never inflict that on another person and I think it made me more deliberately empathetic, compassionate , and kind. I have seen these qualities in many who have experienced hurtful discrimination against the way a person is just born. Pain can be a good teacher. Dr. Reich, I am glad that you have had a good life and did not internalize the message that anything was wrong with you. It obviously has made you kinder, more empathetic, and the kind of person who teaches and fights for the equal rights of all. Maybe being short was your greatest gift.
I didn't even know you were short. I've only ever read your writing and height doesn't matter there. We humans make the darnedest things matter. You would probably enjoy Harry Frankfurt's essays collected in his book The Importance of What We Care About.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey! Years ago, growth hormones were suggested by Children's Hospital of Phila. for my shorter son. I was appalled! I never believed that success was based on height. We love him just the way he is. He is a thoughtful, kind, common sense kind of guy. That's success in my book.
Thank you for giving us such a personal story today. If only everyone could know the unconditional love each new person deserves. So many divisions when we are all humans just muddling through. Self-love enables us to love our fellow travelers.
Robert Reich, too many of us. You are a giant of a man.
Short in height, tall in stature. Professor, you definitely got the better end of the stick...:)
A short man with a huge Patriotic Heart ❤️
Dear Robert, we’ll take you at four feet eleven inches or six feet four inches or anywhere in between. Happy New Year!
Thank you for sharing your journey. With a towering intellect who needs to be taller than they are.
From a short Canadian who was also bullied for her height. I hope that I countered those with disdain and grace; but I do remember stomping the girl’s foot and landing in the Principal’s office.
Thank you for this piece.
But mostly thank you for all of your work here. I have learned so much.
Happy New Year.
My gran used to say: “diamonds aren’t as big as bricks.”
We have no right to judge another person based on their physical appearance. What is important is whether that person has a positive contribution to society, how they conduct themselves and whether their values align with what is right and just. I have come to appreciate the wisdom that Robert Reich has imparted to all of us. He has many important lessons to tell us. We should all listen.
Thank you for continuing to enlighten us about the most important values for a good life, a life of meaning, a life of noble purpose. In my opinion, your contributions have made a huge difference and continue to do so. The odds you successfully faced forged you into a man we admire. Thank you for inspiring us with your story. May this year bring the best for you, for each of us as we work together to strengthen our democracy.
At 5’8” I seemed to attract shorter men. One who I was particularly enthralled with actually jumped up in the air and clicked his heels together when I accepted a date. He later broke my heart when he decided I was too tall for him. So it works both ways.
In my mid 20’s, I fell in love with a 6’2” “lean, mean, fighting machine”. He was an ex-marine; we met at the YMCA. He asked, “Would you like to use my jump rope?” He was handsome. He took my hand and swept me off my feet.
We dated 8 years. I waited for him to finish school & get a job. (He proposed after a few years but my minister & our parents thought we should wait).
During that time I discovered what I thought of Tom was in reality incorrect. Although he had been on the boxing team in the marines, he told me he was afraid of everything. I learned he smoked, had a drinking problem, wore glasses & had been put in jail in the marines. He hid these things from me. He said later he was afraid I wouldn’t go out with him if I knew since I was such a “health nut”. When we went cross country skiing when visiting my sister & her husband, he was afraid of a hill and removed his skies to walk down.
He lied he graduated from college; actually his family hid this from me as well (they were enablers). He still lived at home. He was fired from his first job.
But I waited. I made dinners & entertained his family. He was book smart, well read, disciplined with exercise which I respected.
At the end, he said his sister said she didn’t think I respected him (he never liked her). So he asked me. I was always truthful. I said I didn’t respect that he still had to live at home with his parents. That infuriated him and caused him to end the relationship. But not before asking another girl to marry him prior to ending it with me. I was devastated & fell into a nightmarish depression.
He did love me fiercely, though. I know this. He wanted me to marry him & move into married housing 45 minutes away while he finished school. But I had a condo, a good job & seniority that was minutes away. I didn’t want to make the trip. (My friend felt he thought I would never marry him).
Surprisingly he told me that I was too much of a risk (the explanation for the break up).
What I am trying to say is it doesn’t matter how tall a person is. What matters is the substance of the person. A person can falsely portray themselves as something totally different than what is actual reality.
For lack of a better description, your ability to see through the fluff people hide behind, your ability to think, and your ability to put what you’re thinking down in writing makes you a giant.
Terrific question, “ But what’s “normal” anyway? And why is normal so important?”. Many of the experiences you described are similar to mine but just due to being born female. Historically women were considered to be less capable intellectually than men due to their smaller weaker stature. They were treated more as property or just a help mate for the superior male. When I was growing up our small rural town spent money on boys sports, basketball, football, baseball, and track, but there was not a single sport for girls. The message was that we were not worth it. Tv shows like Ozzie and Harriet, the Donna Reed Show, Leave it to Beaver, etc all showed women as dependent on a man for the final decisions maker, again because they were superior. Our language used the pronoun he as if it somehow also included all people. Women should be invisible? As a young woman, I couldn’t open a bank account or get a credit card without a father or a husband co-signing. In weddings, fathers still give daughters away to another man. We still have many rituals and language that tell girls that they should be invisible, helpmates, and accept their inferior to men status. This kind of discrimination against women has become more visible, and equality has gained but has still not yet been achieved. The same is true of all groups that are discriminated against for their genetic makeup, ie gender, gender identity, color of skin, height, weight, or age. Imagine if we all understood that these are all just variations of NORMAL. Often what is considered normal is just the statistical mean. That should never be a number used to describe the variety of normal humans with all of our differing gifts which optimize us or do not limit us from different jobs. Having been given the messages that I am inferior, or less than in some way, or just good as a help mate definitely effected my life and my choices which in later life I was able to put words to and reject. The hurt that I felt made me want to never inflict that on another person and I think it made me more deliberately empathetic, compassionate , and kind. I have seen these qualities in many who have experienced hurtful discrimination against the way a person is just born. Pain can be a good teacher. Dr. Reich, I am glad that you have had a good life and did not internalize the message that anything was wrong with you. It obviously has made you kinder, more empathetic, and the kind of person who teaches and fights for the equal rights of all. Maybe being short was your greatest gift.
I didn't even know you were short. I've only ever read your writing and height doesn't matter there. We humans make the darnedest things matter. You would probably enjoy Harry Frankfurt's essays collected in his book The Importance of What We Care About.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey! Years ago, growth hormones were suggested by Children's Hospital of Phila. for my shorter son. I was appalled! I never believed that success was based on height. We love him just the way he is. He is a thoughtful, kind, common sense kind of guy. That's success in my book.
Thank you for giving us such a personal story today. If only everyone could know the unconditional love each new person deserves. So many divisions when we are all humans just muddling through. Self-love enables us to love our fellow travelers.
Thanks for a wonderful year of all your thoughtful insights, but most importantly, for wrapping them with smiles. Here’s to 2024!!
A truer measure of a man is his character, and you, Robert Reich, are truly a character!