Alternative lives, as a 73 y/p woman I can tell you the power of growing up in religious home that taught that like Ruth in the bible a woman’s place was to follow her husband, If you read many religious texts they are based on paternalistic,patriarchal stories. My culture told me I was second class. There were no sports for girls. All t…
Alternative lives, as a 73 y/p woman I can tell you the power of growing up in religious home that taught that like Ruth in the bible a woman’s place was to follow her husband, If you read many religious texts they are based on paternalistic,patriarchal stories. My culture told me I was second class. There were no sports for girls. All the money went to the all important boys sports, We could only be cheerleaders. Dating was more of boys locker room talk of who was able to conquer a girl and get laid. There was little discussion of getting to know each other and respect each other in a relationship. TV shows like The Donna Reed Show, Leave it to Beaver, Happy Days, Ozzie and Harriet, and more, all depict a woman at home usually a little ditzy with a tolerant yet wiser man as the head of the household and the one to have the last say, Spousal rape was not acknowledged until 1993. A man was the king of his castle and women knew their place. I had six years of home ec. I won a merit scholarship to college, but no one told me it was money. As a young woman I couldn’t get a bank account or a loan without a father or husband to co-sign, I was definitely groomed to be a Stepford wife. It took me too many years before deeply questioning this conditioning. Even in our language the words he or men are often used and women are supposed to assume they are included. Better to remind women that they are to be silent and know there place. The same conditioning told boys that to be a man was to subjugate a woman, So when our churches, our language, our TV shows and advertising, our school experiences all reinforce this model of male superiority, this belief system will not be overcome quickly. Much of the work from Alice:Paul to Gloria Steinem and so many others has helped to make this change. The progress that was made in the 60’ and 70’s has caused a huge backlash from men and women who are afraid of having their core belief system challenged. This is the belief system that they were given from birth as to what reality is, Belief systems take courage to look at and I am afraid that many just don’t have the ego strength to do that,
Good comments Linda. Being four years older than you I agree that the culture always skews toward men. Lucky for me and my brother ours was not a religious family and my Mother always worked as an accountant or office manager for years until she started her own business. Always a strong willed and a very smart person she had the full support from my Dad for anything she wanted to do. I remember my Mom taking me with her to vote when I was in grade school. I seem to remember they were big fans of Adlai Stevenson so it was probably 1956. Remember the voting booths with the levers and the curtain that pulled shut for privacy? That was the one we used. She and my Dad (FDR people) always told us "when it comes to helping and respecting working people, the worst Democrat is always better than the best Republican". I started voting in 1968, and not for Nixon. I have always found their admonition to hold true. P.S. Remember when a girl in high school would get pregnant and have to leave school? They never kicked the boy out. He was allowed to finish and graduate! Hope for better times and Vote Blue. Cheers... GH
@Linda. You have very well given a lay person's description of social inculcation. It's real according to those who study this. But another thing is going on that was brought up by Lahanas-Calderon in the coffee klatch - social media has created a new channel for social inculcation, within which parents and communities are replaced by "influencers" and fanatics. We are in for a couple of scary decades while society figures out how to have "our better angels" contribute more to social (media) inculcation of this and the next generation.
I hear what you say, and I'm old enough to have been brought up with those rules in England too, albeit not in a religious family and in a seriously multicultural city.
I fear Trump has actually brought out something deep seated and long-hidden in American society, not just that the coastal city-dweller's modern agenda is a million miles from the conservative rural agenda, but that many people in those same cities, not just men, still hark back to a past time, and the apparent simplicity and certainties of past rules and social structures. And yes, religion too.
I have said before that Trump has let the genie out of the bottle, and there are queues of wannabe dictators that will now realise that if they follow the Trump playbook, but with more intelligence and fewer cock-ups, then there is an American electorate ready to vote you into power. People like Vance, for example.
This election is existential, but it certainly is NOT the last word. Even if Harris wins the vote, even if Trump and the Republicans fail to overturn it, even if the planned insurrections are quashed by loyal security services, then all the same crap will be happening in 4 years time, and for a very simple reason - 50% of Americans still seem to want to vote for it!
@ old French bloke. I think you are right that the movement behind Trump does not need Trump - they will find a willing populist wanna be dictator. Something that gives hope, if Harris wins this time the odds are heavily stacked that she will win next time due to advantages of incumbency and the likelihood that many of the grievances that drive Trump voters will have been mitigated, at least to some extent, after four years of a rational presidency and administration.
We cannot overlook the oligarchy which has slowly but surely crept into the scene, then, emboldened by Citizens United, taken over. Far too many greedy billionaires in a race to see whose youknowwhat is bigger than the others' are controlling our elections, and doing so simply in order to control legislation that enables even more unfettered corporate greed. For the past month as we've watched the orange conman completely disintegrate, I've thought Peter Thiel would end up controlling the country. Yes, Vance has been salivating over trump's decline but we all know he's incapable of doing any aspect of the presidency, and would probably allow his longtime mentor, Thiel to "advise" him. And now Musk is vying with Theil for the head role. Of course, Vlad is right in there to "help" any "shadow" govt because, let's face it, he's an expert at taking control and never relinquishing it. So, yes. Even if Harris wins this time and even the next, there are plenty of "strong" (eye roll) men who will NEVER let up in running everything...... including the Project 2025 "master" minds. We're in for some very troubling times that may never be eliminated..
Alternative lives, as a 73 y/p woman I can tell you the power of growing up in religious home that taught that like Ruth in the bible a woman’s place was to follow her husband, If you read many religious texts they are based on paternalistic,patriarchal stories. My culture told me I was second class. There were no sports for girls. All the money went to the all important boys sports, We could only be cheerleaders. Dating was more of boys locker room talk of who was able to conquer a girl and get laid. There was little discussion of getting to know each other and respect each other in a relationship. TV shows like The Donna Reed Show, Leave it to Beaver, Happy Days, Ozzie and Harriet, and more, all depict a woman at home usually a little ditzy with a tolerant yet wiser man as the head of the household and the one to have the last say, Spousal rape was not acknowledged until 1993. A man was the king of his castle and women knew their place. I had six years of home ec. I won a merit scholarship to college, but no one told me it was money. As a young woman I couldn’t get a bank account or a loan without a father or husband to co-sign, I was definitely groomed to be a Stepford wife. It took me too many years before deeply questioning this conditioning. Even in our language the words he or men are often used and women are supposed to assume they are included. Better to remind women that they are to be silent and know there place. The same conditioning told boys that to be a man was to subjugate a woman, So when our churches, our language, our TV shows and advertising, our school experiences all reinforce this model of male superiority, this belief system will not be overcome quickly. Much of the work from Alice:Paul to Gloria Steinem and so many others has helped to make this change. The progress that was made in the 60’ and 70’s has caused a huge backlash from men and women who are afraid of having their core belief system challenged. This is the belief system that they were given from birth as to what reality is, Belief systems take courage to look at and I am afraid that many just don’t have the ego strength to do that,
Good comments Linda. Being four years older than you I agree that the culture always skews toward men. Lucky for me and my brother ours was not a religious family and my Mother always worked as an accountant or office manager for years until she started her own business. Always a strong willed and a very smart person she had the full support from my Dad for anything she wanted to do. I remember my Mom taking me with her to vote when I was in grade school. I seem to remember they were big fans of Adlai Stevenson so it was probably 1956. Remember the voting booths with the levers and the curtain that pulled shut for privacy? That was the one we used. She and my Dad (FDR people) always told us "when it comes to helping and respecting working people, the worst Democrat is always better than the best Republican". I started voting in 1968, and not for Nixon. I have always found their admonition to hold true. P.S. Remember when a girl in high school would get pregnant and have to leave school? They never kicked the boy out. He was allowed to finish and graduate! Hope for better times and Vote Blue. Cheers... GH
@Linda. You have very well given a lay person's description of social inculcation. It's real according to those who study this. But another thing is going on that was brought up by Lahanas-Calderon in the coffee klatch - social media has created a new channel for social inculcation, within which parents and communities are replaced by "influencers" and fanatics. We are in for a couple of scary decades while society figures out how to have "our better angels" contribute more to social (media) inculcation of this and the next generation.
I hear what you say, and I'm old enough to have been brought up with those rules in England too, albeit not in a religious family and in a seriously multicultural city.
I fear Trump has actually brought out something deep seated and long-hidden in American society, not just that the coastal city-dweller's modern agenda is a million miles from the conservative rural agenda, but that many people in those same cities, not just men, still hark back to a past time, and the apparent simplicity and certainties of past rules and social structures. And yes, religion too.
I have said before that Trump has let the genie out of the bottle, and there are queues of wannabe dictators that will now realise that if they follow the Trump playbook, but with more intelligence and fewer cock-ups, then there is an American electorate ready to vote you into power. People like Vance, for example.
This election is existential, but it certainly is NOT the last word. Even if Harris wins the vote, even if Trump and the Republicans fail to overturn it, even if the planned insurrections are quashed by loyal security services, then all the same crap will be happening in 4 years time, and for a very simple reason - 50% of Americans still seem to want to vote for it!
@ old French bloke. I think you are right that the movement behind Trump does not need Trump - they will find a willing populist wanna be dictator. Something that gives hope, if Harris wins this time the odds are heavily stacked that she will win next time due to advantages of incumbency and the likelihood that many of the grievances that drive Trump voters will have been mitigated, at least to some extent, after four years of a rational presidency and administration.
We cannot overlook the oligarchy which has slowly but surely crept into the scene, then, emboldened by Citizens United, taken over. Far too many greedy billionaires in a race to see whose youknowwhat is bigger than the others' are controlling our elections, and doing so simply in order to control legislation that enables even more unfettered corporate greed. For the past month as we've watched the orange conman completely disintegrate, I've thought Peter Thiel would end up controlling the country. Yes, Vance has been salivating over trump's decline but we all know he's incapable of doing any aspect of the presidency, and would probably allow his longtime mentor, Thiel to "advise" him. And now Musk is vying with Theil for the head role. Of course, Vlad is right in there to "help" any "shadow" govt because, let's face it, he's an expert at taking control and never relinquishing it. So, yes. Even if Harris wins this time and even the next, there are plenty of "strong" (eye roll) men who will NEVER let up in running everything...... including the Project 2025 "master" minds. We're in for some very troubling times that may never be eliminated..
This is one of the reasons why Republicans want to abolish public education.
Now that brain power has replaced muscle power women can look to a brighter future.
Father Knows Best, too.