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willaim ressler's avatar

We need to undersand that our souls are finite vessels, only capable of holding a certain amount of emotion at any given time, and hatred, once seated, takes up a specific part of the space inside of us. Allowed to grow, it can and will take up more and more of that space, and as time goes by, it can sneak up on us before we know it, and indeed wind up dominating the space where the best of us, our goodness, compassion, our decency, once lived, our hatred squeezing the best of us to the side, and then, eventually, completely dominating, who we are .

So when we hate, every other part of our lives, suffer. Our relationships with everyone we encounter, including those with our spouses and extended families, our friends and neighbors, even our dogs, as well as our bosses, workmates, even people who we meet anew or simply pass on the street, all, are directly affected, and then diminished, and in many cases, even destroyed, by the fact that our hatred for anything or anyone at all, exists in our hearts and minds. Yes. Allowed to run rampant, your hatred for Republicans, or Democrats, or.. . Labradoodles, can indeed ruin, your marriage.

That's not hyperbole folks. I'm not joking.

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Paula Dean's avatar

Thank you. I believe you are a wise person and absolutely correct about what Hate does to us. I have been giving a lot of thought to my feelings about those who I disagree with, and I have realized that it's not actually hate that I feel, but anger, frustration and bafflement. Mostly, I just can't understand them. Sometimes, I even pity them, because I don't think they can be happy. The Bible teaches us to love our enemies and to treat them with kindness....and that our kindness will cause them more pain than our cruelty ever could. In fact, it was either Jesus or Paul who said "treating your enemies with kindness is like heaping hot coals on their head"! I have always tried to be kind towards everyone, and I think if I were to meet any of those who so frustrate me I WOULD be kind to them! I am only "mean" in my own head, where it only hurts me. As a sufferer of major depression for most of my life, I have quite enough self inflicted pain. Thanks again Nathan! God bless you.

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willaim ressler's avatar

Well it sounds to me Paula, that you're more in touch with your inner you than an awful lot of people, and hatred is very different than anger, which is temporary, and serves us as relief valve if you will, a normal reaction to injustice, as long as we don't just stay angry because that is no better for us than staying hateful. I use it from time to time, alone in the car, I might scream at an idiot or two, and then get back to rational thought, a little more calm than before, and well, a little more rational.

And anyone who doesn't feel frustration with the Right right now, probably has a lot of reading to do.

As for kindness, I believe that it is built into our human selves, at birth. The trick is to not allow it to be overshadowed by less useful emotions. Again, we are finite vessels. Finding a balance, while eliminating problematic emotions, is beneficial to us.

Human beings, throughout our history, have been tribal. At some point, we came to understand that we were better, together; hunters were safer and more efficient, in groups; our less physically powerful tribal members, who perhaps didn't do well with hunting, stayed in camp doing things to support our hunters, cleaning and preparing food, maintaining shelters etc., so that our hunters could rest, and so, be better at hunting.

As such, we bettered ourselves, and made life easier for all. Its been shown by Archiologists that our earliest tribes learned compassion, by caring for injured, disabled and elderly tribal members, by examining ancient remains, which show that even very early on, we realized that all of us, had value, either through wisdom to be shared, or the carrying out of some sort of tasks that our healthiest members either couldn't carry out, or simply wouldn't; a disabled member might have been good at arrowhead making, or the like.

Point being, even when early men and women became physically useless, their tribal mates still fed them, cared for them, and so loving each other, treating each other with kindness, grew out of our needs to be with each other. Over the course of tens of thousands of years, those traits, love and kindness, have become instinctive, automatic. Then, laugh out loud, came politics.

I'm no stranger to depression, or self inflicted pain, myself. Twice in my life, I felt the need to "talk to someone", and sought out professionals. On both occasions, I was told that, "I rarely say this to my patients, but you need to be more selfish, and think more about your own life, and less about everyone elses'." etc., etc. I took that to heart, and wound up being a more well balanced person, and so more capable of helping others, which is a natural desire of mine, and, it seems to me, yours. Perhaps you might give that some thought yourself Paula. Trust that you will always be kind, because it is in all of our basic natures, a built in part of who we are as human beings, and maybe more so in yourself, than most. Many of course, are so screwed up that their inner kindness has been obliterated by hate, never to be seen again. Not you. You are good. Just go with that !

Our most destructive problem in this country right now, is ignorance. Strive to be calm in all situations, as you do whatever you can, to eliminate it. That is where you'll be your best, and the most valuable you, to both yourself, and our struggling country, our American, tribe.

Very, nice to meet you Paula ! You are a gem.

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EricaR's avatar

No joke. I will not forget your wise words.

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