The art of the despicable deal
Trump’s grovelers
Friends,
Here’s a slightly stylized version of the conversation now occurring between Trump and:
(1) the presidents and prime ministers of countries on which Trump has slapped tariffs,
(2) CEOs of corporations wanting exemptions from the tariffs,
(3) university presidents wanting to avoid losing federal funding,
(4) senior partners at law firms seeking to avoid a punitive Trump executive order,
(5) CEOs of media corporations seeking to avoid or settle a Trump lawsuit against them and curry favor, and
(6) chairs of the nation’s largest museums, hospitals, libraries, and other nonprofits afraid of losing their tax-exempt status.
The Oval Office
They (anxiously): Mr. President, sir, thank you for a few moments of your time.
He (impatiently): Cut to the chase: What will you give me?
They: We’re eager to make amends, sir, and give you whatever you want, sir.
He: Start with a public apology.
They: Yes, of course. We should never have done what we were doing. We’ll say so, publicly.
He: And thank me, publicly.
They: Yes, of course. You’re a great president who deserves all of our thanks.
He: The greatest president.
They: The greatest president!
He: What else?
They (groveling): We’ll contribute to a fund of your choosing. $40 million.
He: $100 million.
They: Of course, Mr. President, sir.
He: That’s it?
They (bowing): We also promise never, ever to criticize you, Mr. President, sir. We’ll stop everyone else from criticizing you, too.
He: Good. What else?
They (after kissing his hand): Your family can build a hotel on our property! Several hotels! You’ll get 50 percent of whatever it earns.
He: Fifty?
They (after kissing his shoes): No! Eighty! Ninety! We’ll give you television rights! Book deals! Book deals for your wife! We’ll invest in your Bitcoin!
He: Maybe …
They: Our people will be your serfs!
He (perking up): Serfs?
They: Slaves! And their children will be slaves to your children!
Assistant: Mr. President, sir, you’ve got another meeting.
He (to the grovelers): Let me think about it.
They (as they’re being led out): We’ll throw in a diamond brooch! A Rolex watch! A Rolls-Royce La Rose Noire Droptail!
He (to the grovelers): Come back with a better offer.
They (backing out and bowing): Thank you, Mr. President, sir! Thank you! Thank you!
(Assistant closes door behind them.)
This dialogue is only a bit exaggerated. There are few things Trump enjoys more than his own dominance over — and the abject subservience of — others.
But with every such deal, Trump’s perceived power grows. With every groveler, he demands more groveling. Every supplicant ensures more supplicants — among presidents and prime ministers, CEOs, university presidents, senior partners at law firms, and CEOs of media corporations.
Those who grovel are harming the world. They are traitors to America.
We fought a Revolutionary War almost 250 years ago to avoid just this.
Your fictional narrative is very close to what is happening in the USA, today. It makes me feel sick to my stomach.
To solve this, we need to pull his base out from under him. We need to reaffirm our national INDIVISABILITY, not our party polarity.
Talk to your red neighbors and feed them BBQ, so much they run out of time for fox.
Forget the clever put-downs and do some strategically brilliant bridge-building.
T is nothing without their fear & anger.